Micro Wedding Planning: Kelly and Dan's Unforgettable Wedding Day Story @ Confederate Home and High Cotton Restaurant In Historic Downtown, Charleston SC
Welcome to the land of Micro-weddings. Nevermore relevant than this COVID-19 wedding era is the concept of planning a microwedding for your big day. So today I want to tell the story of one of our all-time favorite clients-turned- lifelong-teachers-and-soul-friends, the microwedding celebration of Kelly and Dan here in Charleston, SC.
“Ya know what, we want to celebrate this love. Whether we’re together for five minutes or fifty years. We’re doing this thing.”
The Call You Hope You Never Get
Fall 2019— I get a call from one of our favorite wedding planner friends, Haley Kelly. She told me about this extraordinary couple—Kelly and Dan - 40ish, active, beautiful. Kelly, the bride, has two beautiful boys, 6 and 8, from a former relationship. Kelly and Dan were originally planning on getting married in Spring 2020, Dan (the groom) has a heart transplant, and he noticed something wasn't quite right.
“We were on top of the world before his diagnosis. Our lives were literally perfect. Newly engaged, professional fulfillment, amazing kids....you name it. We were completely caught off guard that day in the doctors. What was supposed to be a routine visit, rocked our world and made it crash down around us. I will never forget that moment. I felt the room sharpen around me and my senses heighten. That moment froze when the doctor said “you need another heart transplant and I recommend we begin the process immediately.” We fell apart that day. We were told our last “safe weekend” to travel outside of 30 mins from our home would be that November weekend, so in 6 weeks we made it happen. “ - Kelly
They discovered his heart transplant had begun to have complications. Amid hospital visits, maneuvering through a decisions you pray you never have to face with your lover, they made the decision to move the wedding up immediately.
Rather than COVID-19 being the reason for their reschedule of their wedding, they canceled their big lavish celebration for Spring due to Dan’s heart-transplant complications, and urgently shifted gears, stripped the lavish excessive guest list and frills, and put together an intimate microwedding celebration that fall so they could be married.
Hearing about this young family, I fell in love with Kelly and Dan. I remember Kelly saying,
"Ya know what, we want to celebrate this love. Whether we're together for five minutes or fifty years. We're do this thing."
Kelly, Dan, Max, and Vince is what it looks like to live life with arms wide open. I don't think I've ever witnessed a family be more present, be more in the moment of EVERY moment than this crew.
Getting Ready As A Family At Embassy Suites Downtown Charleston
Kelly and Dan chose to get ready together as a family in the same suite at Embassy Suites downtown Charleston. It was this beautiful harmony of chaos and life and tender moments. It was so real. Max, being a sprite, vibrant boy hellion filled with energy, and Vince was so thrilled about everything that was happening.
They opened a gift together of everywhere they'd traveled together, and the mess of it all was refreshing. Not perfectly curated, and yet, in those little moments, it couldn't be more perfect and authentic. The room at the Embassy Suites wasn't hugely embellished and lavish by any means, but there was the perfect little area with a big window of natural light, and we made it work in that intimate space.
An Intimate, Sexy Portrait Session
I loved that Kelly specifically requested for a few intimate, candid portraits with Dan. She sat in his lap, and they embraced on the floor of this hotel room. You know how I feel about anything boudoir or anything expressing real, raw, sultry emotion -- I'm all about it. So it was such a beautiful, breathtaking moment to catch the two of them tenderly embracing and taking one another in.
As a videographer, I can't help but think of the lifespan of what video does. Even in the moment, standing in the room, holding space for Kelly and Dan to hold one another and take one another in on their wedding day, I was thinking of the way they would watch, and replay, and watch this moment over and over again.
Holding that camera in my hand, I thought of all the moments this moment right here would support them.
Their schedule was packed with hospital visits, booking a flight to Charleston, to quickly returning to hospitals after this quick wedding weekend getaway, it was back to the hospital. Back to uncertainty, back to hard news, back to a very long journey.
“But in this moment, they can have forever. They can access this anytime. They can take in the beauty of who they are, hell or high water, diagnosis, healing, beauty, chaos, loss, any of it — what they have right now in this moment.”
The Confederate Home And College Wedding Venue: A Hidden Gem For Small Weddings In The Heart Of Historic Downtown Charleston
The microwedding ceremony was at the Confederate Home. If you don't know about this hidden gem of a microwedding venue, it's nestled right in the heart of downtown. You might walk by it and have no idea the fantastic garden was there behind the wrought iron fencing and that big red door. Here's a little detail from their website about the history of the Confederate Home and College in Charleston:
The Confederate Home and College, a cherished institution in Charleston, was built circa 1800. From 1810-1825 it was the home of Gov. John Geddes. During this time President James Monroe visited here. Before the Civil War it operated as the Carolina Hotel and also housed the Federal Court. In 1867, Mary Amarinthia Snowden and her sister, Isabella Yates Snowden, established a home for Confederate widows and orphans. Later they started a college on the premises. It is still known as the Confederate Home. The spirit of compassion of the Snowden sisters lives on today as the Confederate Home and College is a source of 5 college scholarships and moderately priced housing for qualified residents.
The Confederate Home and College wedding venue feels like it’s frozen in time.
We could be in 1920, we could be in 1880, we could be in 2020. They have strict policies around music and noise to respect the mystical group of elderly women who were resting outside of their porches and the handful of college students who live there, so for Kelly and Dan's micro wedding celebration there was a small string quartet for their ceremony music, and it was perfect.
I have never blubbered so hard while filming vows during that micro wedding ceremony.
But I was in good company— there wasn’t a dry eye amidst the rows of their friends. I'm talking barely able to keep the camera steady as I took in the emotion of the four of them, under that beautiful oak tree; the boys stood with them at that alter as a gesture of their becoming married as a family. Seeing Max's face beam as he looked out into the crowd and seeing his cousins and all these familiar facing was such a beautiful thing. Seeing Vince's face as he maneuvered through all of his emotions of the moment, and seeing his quiet tears on his cheeks, it was beautiful.
& I'm just going to say it: Kelly and Dan’s vows are hands down the most thoughtful vows I've ever heard in my entire filming career.
There was a part Dan said, "There's one part of those vows I don't agree with. Till death do us part. I believe this love lasts well beyond life itself, and I vow to find you sooner in our next lifetime." I couldn’t agree with him more.
Walking The Iconic Streets of Downtown Charleston For The Perfect Bridal Portrait Session
We worked alongside the badass and glorious wedding photographer, Caroline Ro -- I have been a fan of her wedding work from afar from YEARS, and it was so awesome to get to work alongside her. Caroline Ro is an absolute true creative collaborator. Between her, Haley Kelly, and the crew at High Cotton -- we couldn't have asked for a better team for this intimate micro-wedding day.
I loved catching the moments of them walking as a family through the city. Max established that he fully intended to sit next to me during dinner. The boys revealed their "apparent" family theme song for their mom, a call-and-response tune of:
“Boys: “Momma’s gotta big o’ butt”
Kelly: “Oh yeaaahh”
Boys: “Momma’s got a big o’ butt”
Kelly: “Ohh yeaaahh” ”
High Cotton Restaurant Downtown: The Perfect Intimate Small Microwedding Reception Dinner Spot
There was an intimate reception dinner at High Cotton to follow. This was the perfect little spot for an intimate microwedding reception. The back area of High Cotton opens up into the cutest hidden piazza with a fountain. Guests were greeted with passed appetizers when they arrived at High Cotton. The string trio (or was it a quartet??) serenaded the sun melting into the evening. Kiddos were running around in the golden courtyard, safely away from any fast traffic or streets, romantic cafe lights strung overhead.
After strolling through the city catching portraits in all of Charleston's iconic grandeur, Kelly and Dan slow danced on the back patio of High Cotton during their intimate microwedding reception, surrounded by their family and friends. Inside High Cotton, the back room was reserved for their small wedding party (about 40 people in attendance, including children). The room was adorned with framed pictures of Kelly and Dan's adventures. Running in freezing cold marathons, being on exotic hillsides in Italy. One of their first weekends in Charleston, where they had a date night at High Cotton years ago. It was perfect.
High Cotton Restaurant did an INCREDIBLE presentation of Steak and Lobster, Fish entrees, and amazing desserts to follow -- Kelly and Dan spoiled us with the same food fare as the guests -- we were in HEAVEN!!! Such a gift.
How Do You Give A Welcome Toast In The Midst Of Such Emotional Tension?
When you're faced with life-and-death diagnosis', and you're gathering all of your essential family and friends together, you can only imagine the air of heavy hearts, open hearts, and all of the emotions everyone invited was feeling throughout Kelly and Dan's day. So what the heck, as hosts, do you say to everyone for your welcome speech for the intimate microwedding reception?
Kelly and Dan blew my mind again.
Thank You’s, And Incrimination
They began saying their heartfelt thank you’s for everyone present and shared their experience of how much love they have for everyone. They went into a few "house rules" -- and dove right into essentially a roast of everything and everyone they don't tolerate in their world --
That Superman will ALWAYS beat Batman,
that in their house they will NEVER support the Patriots
and that no one should ever, EVER get Kelly's hair wet. EVER.
They launched into telling these incriminating house rules -- pointing fingers at various tables, wedding guests, and groups of guilty parties involved in violating such laws -- and the entire room turned into an uproar of joy and laughter.
It became the most interactive, hilarious, beautiful speech interaction I’ve ever seen at a wedding-- kiddos dying laughing as their parents or families got called out, the boys loving the argument about their favorite superheroes, Dan admitting his jealousy of Kelly's favorite celebrity crush, and the room was filled with so much love, humor, and affection.
Dan closed the speech sharing how much everyone in that room meant to them, and they would be there to help anyone present get through anything because they've been that rock for them.